Two lost souls afraid to be young again.
Hai, I'm not a self help book, I'm just a fucked up kid.
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Scary Monsters…
Today, or should I say, Yesterday, the drama department at my school put on a variety show. My bestfriend directed the last scene, the finale. His whole concept was based off of Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites by Skrillex. It’s this totally crazy dance number. An epic battle between Monsters and Sprites to see who can control the dreams of a sweet little 12 year old girl. The whole scene is interpretive dancing and not to mention an array of laser lights, strobes, spotlights, and colorful lighting on stage. There’s a bed we built that the monsters come out of in the beginning. The whole thing is about a dream that a little girl has, a dream of nice sprites, then suddenly her fears find her in her dreams and the monsters take over, so then the sprites must battle the monsters for the little girl’s dreams. Dreams are a funny thing you see, they’re “mysterious” and enchanting. They take us to far away places where everything is possible. They show us the good in us, but when our fears find us, our dreams can be overtaken by our fears. Dreams are some of the best things anyone could ever posses, fears are something we all run away from. Its weird how something so horrible as all the fears we own, can creep their way into the abyss that is our inner mind, where our sub conscience gives birth to the children we call dreams. In the very place we all think we’re safe, we are found by our fears. Our “sprites” are at constant battle with the “monsters”. Most of te time, they are too weak and too fragile to overtake such dark creatures of the night. And sometimes, our fears lose the epic battle. After all, they do say that a dream is a wish your heart makes. Our “sprites” are always there to fight our fears, and to keep us “safe”. Our “sprites” are a symbol of hope, hope that there is something out in the world, or even in our own being, that makes us feel a little less alone, and a little less unprotected. Without these sprites, we would all become victims to the monsters that lie inside of us.
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Montauk
I just finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the third time now. When Joely says “meet me in Montauk.” it gets me everytime. They loved each other so much, that their break up was so hard the only way to stop hurting was to forget. How easy forgetting seems. I wish I could have a procedure to remove memories from my mind. Then again, every memory we made was worth having. In my case, I love you more than you do I. So, for you, you’ve already forgotten. I, however, experience my heart caving in every time I see you. If I could have a love like any other, it would be Joel and Clementine’s. Through all her oddities, he loved her more and more. I’m not really sure why you decided to leave when I needed you the most, I just know that you came into my life and changed me when you left. If destiny really does exist, I guess you’ve led me to where I need to go. I just wish I were going with you. I don’t wanna forget you, I just wish I could stop reliving the hurt, I wish I could stop crying myself to sleep on starry nights and rainy evenings, I wish I could finally listen to our song without having a breakdown, I just wish you would come back into my life really. Joely waited for Clementine, in Montauk. I wish you would wait for me, like I’m waiting for you.
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I’m broke.
But I’m not broken.
